how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
