the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
