Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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