i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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