I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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