just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
