he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
