My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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