Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
