remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
