Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
