Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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