I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
