once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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