I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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