I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
