remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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