All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
