Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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