the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
