Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
