We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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