Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
