was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
A+ Viking dick
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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