She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
