Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
