the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
