Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
