I think my vagina is haunted
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
