but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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