just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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