2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
