He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
