In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
