I wanna bring you to show and tell
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
