The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
