you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
