We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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