i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
