Don't make out with my wife yet
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
