Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
