she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
