Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
