Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
