You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
