In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
