I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
