wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
