He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
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