grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
